Writer and systems thinker
Zigurds Kupcs
I write about what happens when people who care about each other still end up hurting each other. My current work looks at why the same kinds of arguments keep coming back, even when neither person wants them to.
Current Project
A nonfiction book in development
My current project is a nonfiction book about recurring conflict between people who care about each other.
At the centre of it is the gap between what one person meant and what the other person experienced. After enough repetitions, the same kind of conflict can start to feel familiar before it has properly begun. The practical question is what helps in the difficult moment itself—not only what makes sense afterwards.
The book is written for mutual patterns where both people still have room to choose how they respond. It is not a framework for coercive, threatening or unsafe relationships.
The manuscript is complete. I am now sharing it with private beta readers and preparing for developmental editing. It is not published, and I have not fixed the final title yet.
Background
A Systems Perspective
I started as a systems analyst and later moved into solution architecture and practice leadership. A lot of that work becomes clearer once you stop looking at any one part on its own.
When the same result keeps coming back, the useful question is often not who touched it last, but what in the system keeps producing it.
I use the same habit in my writing. People are not systems to engineer, and a relationship is not software. But looking past one incident to the pattern around it can still be useful.
I write from that perspective. I am not a therapist or clinician.